Experts of Foreign Policy and Diplomacy

EXPERTS OF FOREIGN POLICY AND DIPLOMACY

by Antonio C. Antonio

April 11, 2014

Yesterday, I posted (on my Facebook wall) a photo of a woman in a bank with the following narration: “This lady came waltzing inside a bank this morning and acted as if she was the Queen of the Universe. She didn't bother to take a number, went straight to the teller as if no one else was there and said she wanted her passbook updated.  Half a dozen bank clients (including me) sat there in disbelief as the teller gave in to her demands.  After the teller handed back her passbook, she turned around without even saying thanks and walked straight out.  Is there a logical explanation for this behavior?”

A steady stream of comments were posted on this thread by my Facebook friends and me:

• Female Friend No. 1: “yes, kinda dumb and dumber…”
• Female Friend No. 2: “Baka bag lady ng senator, Tito.”
• Male Friend No. 1: “May ‘AMAT’”
• Female Friend No. 3: “Astig… siga”
• Female Friend No 4: “Napag utusan lng yn po feeling nya kanya un. Haha. Dami n gnyan sir we’ve got the same experience kya ignore nlang pagka borderline personality”
• Me: “Dumb” is the right descriptive word for this incident, Female Friend No. 1… Kami actually ang “dumbest” for being too dumbfounded and too shocked to react.  Lahat kami nag-titinginan lang while I was prepping my mobile phone to take a shot. Hahaha…
• Me: "Bag lady"? Wala syang dalang bag, Female Friend No. 2... payong lang. Hahaha...
• Me: TAMA ka, Male Friend No. 1… sabi nga ni Female Friend No. 4, baka “borderline” case ito. Hahaha…
• Me: Astig talaga!, Female Friend No. 3… I initially thought of protesting pero baka mapalo lang ako ng paying sa ulo. Hahaha…
• Male Friend No. 2: “Katulong siya ng may-ari ng bangko. She checked kung pumasok na sweldo nya.”
• Female Friend No. 5: “She is ignorant plain and simple. The teller should have told her that she has to follow the line. It is the teller’s fault”
• Me: Hi, Female Friend No. 5… I agree with you that the teller was largely to blame. However, the lady really exhibited a rather aggressive personality and the teller could have been intimidated and chose to be prudent. So rather than adhere to procedures, she simply anchored hope that all of us in line will understand the situation. Well, it could have been a more scandalous incident if someone (even gently) requested her to toe the line. Who knows? Kahit ako nga, kimabahan din. Hahaha! Cool ka lang, Female Friend No. 5… you’re a lot prettier when you’re not annoyed! Hahaha…
• Me:  Hi, Male Friend No. 2… baka naman nasisante ng boss nya kaya tila mainit and ulo. Trivia numa tayo: If “katulong” is not a politically correct term for this lady who works for a bankowner, what would be the right term? --- Answer: “KASAMBANGKO”! Hahaha…
• Female Friend No. 5: “I am not annoyed. I was not there to witness the incident so my response could only be based on her photo which led me to conclude that she is not aware of the procedure.”
• Me: You’re right, Female Friend No. 5… she is not aware of procedures. If a lesson could be learned from this incident, it should be: Banks must device procedures to deal with clients like her. O… Smile ka naman dyan!
• Male Friend No. 3: “Di Obra ka Female Friend No 5 yan! Ha ha ha joke lang po. Peace!”
• Female Friend No 6: “Dunno what I could have done but I won’t let it pass by me”
• Me: Here comes another Katipunera in my friend, Female Friend No. 6… ang tatapang ng mga Pinay ngayon! Relax lang, Female Friend No 6…
• Male Friend No. 4:  “Pards, bka nman cya mayari na lupang inuupahan ng bangko. Eccentric lang kya ganyan bhis nia. Don’t judge he, she is not a passbook, just update her. Bwahahaha”
• Female Friend No. 7: “If it is just to update a passbook, you can bypass the line in most banks.”
• Female Friend No. 8: “Sometimes kasi, naka-angat ng konti eh nagiging ganyan nga siguro… dapat somebody opened their mouth and said something in a nice manner… “Ale, Ms., lahat po kami dini ay nakapila at may numero… sige doon nap o kayo sa likod…” Ooooh lala… Di oobra yan dito”
• Me:  Oo nga, Male Friend No. 4… let’s not judge a book when it’s covered. Hahaha…
• Me:  Hay salamat, Female Friend No. 7… finally a cooler head. Hahaha…
• Me: Female Friend No. 8… Another Katipunera in Connecticut, USA. Simple explanation: Differences in culture. Ganyan talaga ditto. Hahaha…
• Male Friend No. 5: “SUKI YAN SIGURADONG KILALA NG TELLER LAKAS NG LOOB EH”
• Me: Malamang, Male Friend No 5… sounds logical!

This was the last item on this thread of comments as of the time I started writing this piece.  Parang bitin, di ba?  So I’ve decided to write a little conclusion to this unworthy bank incident and the subsequent exchange of views from my Facebook friends and me.  This incident could still end in something positive with a good lesson to learn.  A short case study in sociology perhaps…

Reading through the commentaries again, it is very apparent that men are more tolerant for incidents like this.  Why?  Perhaps, men are less vocal and argumentative (thanks to the Pinays for “training” us to be such… Hahaha!) and would sometimes resort to brute physical strength to settle issues and disputes.  There is an old adage that says: “When men are lost for words, they draw their swords.”  Oftentimes, we find men in fistfights than women in hair tugging and pulling scenes.

On the other hand, again judging from the comments, women seem to be more combative and have less tolerance for public display of unruly behavior as in the case of the lady bank client.  They would seemingly be the first to react and take action.  As my Female Friend No. 6 said: “I won’t let it pass.”  I remember my late mother also taking this very vigilant but protective stance… huwag na huwag mong aapihin ang anak niya at lagot ka!

The contrasting way by which women and men manage situations like this gave way to the worldview that women will be bad choices for positions of diplomacy.  (Please allow me to highlight that this is a “worldview” and not my personal opinion.)  I’ve also read somewhere that if women ruled every nation on earth, the world will be in a perpetual state of war.  (This again is another worldview.) 

In the Philippines, the Secretary of Foreign Affairs has traditionally been given and still being given to men to this day.  But wait!... in another part of the world and in the most powerful nation on earth, diplomatic portfolios are also being given to women.  In the United States, the cabinet position of Secretary of State is the primary personality who manages foreign policy.  We’ve witnessed the statesmanship and brilliance of women like Madeleine Jana K. Albright, Condoleeza B. Rice and Hillary Diane R. Clinton who, in their time as the top officers of the State Department, were largely revered and respected all over the world.  Some even say that, because of their “motherly” dimension (a trait also very typical of Filipino women), they were more effective than some men who handled the same post.  They really were experts of foreign policy and diplomacy…

Just my little thoughts…